May 19, 2004
Burly Arms

I saw Troy last night. It was the most entertaining three hours I've spent in a theatre in a long time. They of course ruined the Iliad. It's been turned into a Brad Pitt event with obvious plot changes and dramatic remarks that take themselves so seriously that it's hilarious.

I felt a little bad. I was one of those people in the theatre last night that couldn't stop laughing while everyone was paying attention to the dramatic scene. Peter O'Toole was talking and Sonjia turns to me and says with her eyes bugging out of her head, "He's always doing this with his eyes every scene." I then look up at the screen and he's doing exactly what she said. We couldn't stop giggling until the scene was over. I tried to stop giggling but the more I tried worse it got. It was great.

Compounded with that scene was the fact that the only thing I REALLY know Peter O'Toole from is Supergirl. Yes, yes I know he did Lawrence of Arabia, but Supergirl was a staple in my house and that's what I remember him from, so it's a little hard to take him seriously. I also remember my mother walking by while Ady and I watched Supergirl and saying, "He really must have needed the money" in a sad sort of way. I think she may say the same thing again if she sees Troy.

Besides the buggy eyes there was on this Brad Pitt extravaganza Brad's burly arms and other anatomy parts to oogle over. Also random spraying of blood even when it looked like nobody got hit was gross while at the same time fascinating. The weak love story given to Achilles was also an amusing side note to curse the writers over, while at the same time being able to laugh at the situations they got themselves into.

And Paris! Good gods! They should have killed him and Helen off in the first 10 minutes they way they were played. Sappy and with no backbone. They come across as two idiots who throw nations into a war because they can't stay out of each others pants. At least Homer gave them the excuse that Helen was given Paris by Aphrodite. At least that is divine intervention. At least that is some sort of fate. This, this was just two selfish people.

And where were the gods! I wanted to see them taking sides. I wanted to see them play with the mere mortals. I wanted to see them fighting among themselves like the mortals. It lacked something without out the gods interfering.

The only good part, or should I say not silly sappy part was Hector. Hector was defending his country. Hector was cleaning up his brother's mess. Hector merely wanted to grow old with his wife and child. Hector was Maximus from Gladiator. Nice to see they're borrowing characters from other films.

All in all I had a great time despite the fact that the script was horrible and the movie over acted. There were great bodies to look at and plenty of things to laugh over. All in all a fun filled romp.

Posted by nuala at May 19, 2004 01:39 PM

our theater was filled with classics majors (complete with helmets and signs that said "I'm a classics geek, ask me how!") so lots and lots of people were laughing at dramatically inappropriate moments. (me too.)

i too loved the brad shots. while the many teenage girls in our row started squealing everytime orlando did anything remotely legolas-y.

Posted by: didofoot on May 19, 2004 01:52 PM

i think they were more yelling everytime he showed up, batted his eyes, and especially whenever he removed his shirt. legolas had nothing to do with these randy teenage girls non-control over their vocal cords. man they were annoying.

nuala, excellent review. you summed up how i felt about this movie. except i was generally more bored than enjoying the 3 hours. but except for that. yeah.

Posted by: michele on May 19, 2004 02:00 PM

i liked how he had a little archery moment towards the end. i felt this was a shout-out to the legolas fans, but actually it's probably in the book or something.

Posted by: didofoot on May 19, 2004 02:30 PM

well i mean obviously the achilles heel thing, but i was just thinking of the archery in battle.

Posted by: didofoot on May 19, 2004 02:30 PM

oh yes, i see now. but they weren't really drooling on themselves at that point. except for how he was on screen and so they were drooling.

that should be his thing now. he should use archery in every movie he's in from now on. speaking of which, when are we going to go practice archery in GG park?

Posted by: michele on May 19, 2004 02:33 PM

hm. i did not know that was on offer. you bring the bow and arrows and i will bring knives to cut off our left breasts.

nuala what is this news i hear you might move back here because you miss us (and aaron, i expect) too much to live without us? this is good news i say.

Posted by: didofoot on May 19, 2004 02:36 PM

it's $25 for a lesson and they bring everything you need and you meet them (they belong to the archery club/store in the outer richmond district) at the archery range in GG park by the outer avenues. i want to try it! let's have a lesson!

have you come up with something to do for your bday yet, dianna? cause we could do this! and it would be free for you. instead of dinner you get to lose a breast!

Posted by: michele on May 19, 2004 02:39 PM

i lied! it's only $20/person if you make a group reservation.

Posted by: michele on May 19, 2004 02:43 PM

Dammit, Nuala! I had a post all ready to go about Troy, with many of the same points you made ... only I hated it. Beat me to the punch, you did. Grrrr.

Posted by: kati on May 19, 2004 02:47 PM

why pay $20 for a twangy piece of string when i could just throw a sharp stick at things for free?

Posted by: didofoot on May 19, 2004 03:04 PM

work with me here on the fun element of hurting yourself involved in a bow and arrow game. besides, it could be cool to learn how and $20 is only twice as much as i paid for assassins.

Posted by: michele on May 19, 2004 03:12 PM

that was a joke, though. i'll arch with you.

Posted by: didofoot on May 19, 2004 03:13 PM

ooh and touche. and ouch.

Posted by: didofoot on May 19, 2004 03:13 PM


let's weekend! damn wait you'll be in the east bay! mmm....well...let's find a day and then i'll call and we'll go. anybody else?

Posted by: michele on May 19, 2004 03:15 PM

wait, why do i have to pay twice what you paid? just because your event is "fun" and doesn't take place in an "airless room" and i won't have to be next to a "woman who smells like pigs" for three hours, that doesn't mean i owe ten dollars more.

Posted by: didofoot on May 19, 2004 03:21 PM

maybe you have to pay the extra $10 for my pain.

i don't make the rules, i just work around them.

Posted by: michele on May 19, 2004 03:29 PM

Jeeze a girl looks away from the computer for a couple of hours and there are all sorts of comments flying.

Kati - sorry I beat you to the punch. You could still let us know why you hated it. How can you hate that campy fun?!

Kristen - uhhh....Of course I miss you guys. I may be moving I may not, it all depends on how things work out job wise here. If I'm still making the same amount at the same job after I finish the two year program I may move back since there are more hotel opportunities in SF and SF state with a hospitality grad program...who knows.

Also I could not even like Orlando in this movie. Even though he was pretty. Even though I wanted to figure out how to do my hair like his. He bugged, biceps and all.

Oh god I just remembered another great part at the end when Agemmenon is in Troy in his full armor with flames all around him yelling, "Let it burn!" It was the silliest most over acted thing I've ever seen. How can you be bored with scenes like that!

Posted by: nuala on May 19, 2004 10:22 PM

I love re-reading my entries and finding an insane amount of grammer mistakes. My excuse...I wrote it at work with lots of interruptions....That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Posted by: nuala on May 19, 2004 10:36 PM