November 15, 2004
In the doghouse

I don't even know why I'm writing this entry. I don't really have anything interesting to say. I guess I'm looking for a way to vent.

A friend in SB has lately made me feel like I am a bad friend. Within the last two months she's been mad at me frequently and takes it out on me by either ignoring me outright or making snippy comments meant to hurt as much as possible.

We had just made up over the last misunderstanding when another one has popped up that I know she thinks is all my fault. I can admit that I did something without thinking about her or consulting her about that might have hurt her feelings but for her to refuse to talk to me and basically outright ignore me seems a little extreme.

Sometimes I feel like she is using me as something to be mad at and then sometimes I feel like she's right, that I am a bad friend. Right now all I know is that I can't do anything. I can't make her talk to me and I can't begin to make her feel better about what happened until she decides not to be mad anymore.

The truth is that the whole thing is stupid. And the fact that she has gotten this mad at me AGAIN and upset me this much AGAIN makes me question our whole friendship. I mean why would I want to be friends with someone who gets so mad at something that she's hurtful. I've never had a friend who I argued so much with or who refuses to talk to me until the whole situation is blown out of proportion and is ten times worse.

I don't know what to do anymore. The idea that I would lose this friendship that has meant so much to me because of a misunderstanding and perhaps careless move on my part seems insane, but the idea that we will make up and then sometime in the future I might again do something unwittingly that upsets her and I feel like this again seems self destructive.

I don't even know how to approach her anymore as no matter what move I make seems to upset her. I'm basically damned if I do and damned if I don't. I mainly don't understand where the anger comes from. I've been annoyed with my friends but they have never done anything so horrible that I wouldn't speak to them or that I would intentionally ignore them. I've just never felt that type of anger toward a friend and having it directed at me confuses me.

I've called and tried to apologize but I've been ignored for the last 4 days. I've tried to back off but there is no feeling that the wall of silence is going to make a move. I just want it decided. Either we're friends or we're not. Either you're going to get over this or you're not. I wish she would just let me know, because I'm just sitting her waiting for her to decide.

Posted by nuala at November 15, 2004 11:45 AM

i love you. you are a great friend and i've never known you to do anything remotely so horrible you have to be shoved in some metaphorical oubliette. maybe she is just one of those people who loves to be angry and is taking what she sees as her chance.

i'm sorry she's making you feel bad. i kick her with my brain. if she's stupid enough to push you away then that is her loss.

Posted by: didofoot on November 15, 2004 12:00 PM

Only one thing left to do, slap the bitch across her damn mouth.

Posted by: dr v on November 15, 2004 12:01 PM

i think kicking her with my brain was more genteel, but whatever works.

Posted by: didofoot on November 15, 2004 12:03 PM

I like how the doctor always is able to distill things down to their core. I'll assume that this comment's severity is inspired by his downed homie, Dirt McGirt. Rest in piece you foul motherfucker.

And Nuala, I've known people who were mad like this at me alot. I have found, as I hope you are, that it's the exception to the rule.

Posted by: gene on November 15, 2004 12:26 PM

you know what? she may be pretty, but she's not worth the trouble if she's going to make you feel so shitty so often.

Posted by: michele on November 15, 2004 12:27 PM

i forgot to add my solution. dump her ass and move away from SB.

although, i'm assuming once you start your new job you won't see her as often because you won't be working together all the time, so maybe then it will be better?

Posted by: michele on November 15, 2004 12:29 PM

we can hope so

Posted by: nuala on November 15, 2004 12:35 PM

yea just called her. Apparently she's "over it" however I'm just her co-worker now. Apparently she doesn't know if we're friends anymore. I feel like I"m 12 and stuck in middle school

Posted by: nuala on November 15, 2004 01:04 PM

you should pass her a note that says

Will you be my friend again? (check one)

__ Yes, I think yr great!

__ No, it's over.

__ I am a psychotic bitch from hell.

Posted by: didofoot on November 15, 2004 01:24 PM

__My name is Liz Parker, and I'm (insert adjective).

Posted by: michele on November 15, 2004 01:40 PM

Can I mention that I have some really great frineds back in the bay area that I miss like crazy

Posted by: nuala on November 15, 2004 01:56 PM

you know what that means!

(in case you don't, it means, time to move back here)

Posted by: michele on November 15, 2004 02:07 PM

what?! she actually said that? what is she smoking to stay this angry about something so small in the grand scheme of things?

she best be thanking her lucky stars that i'm not in town to give her a piece of my mind.

Posted by: ady on November 15, 2004 02:11 PM

_ My name is Liz EVANS goddammit, EVANS!

Posted by: didofoot on November 15, 2004 02:36 PM

for dido(f)wood(t): "My name is Liz Parker-Evans, and I'm CRAZY."

Posted by: michele on November 15, 2004 03:27 PM

fwoodt, HWEE!

Posted by: michele on November 15, 2004 03:28 PM

and my name is isabel ramirez! let's get some traditional name-changing values around this here spaceship.

Posted by: didofoot on November 15, 2004 03:45 PM

"they used the time slip-stream, dear..."

Posted by: michele on November 15, 2004 04:14 PM

you two are silly....I need to watch roswell again

Posted by: nuala on November 15, 2004 05:40 PM

we two are obsessive, you do need to watch roswell again.

ai yi yi yi yi...

Posted by: michele on November 15, 2004 09:34 PM

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I just want to see that episode. That one damn episode

Posted by: nuala on November 16, 2004 12:07 PM

Which episode?!? I got sucked into Tivo-ing the series in syndication on the Sci-Fi channell and I think I've seen them all. And now that manipulative bitch Tess Harding (Emilie de Ravin) is on "Lost" Who knew she was Australian?!? I always thought she had a funny accent on Roswell. I just assumed she was Canadian. You know what I'm talking aboot?

Posted by: Clint on November 18, 2004 04:26 AM

OH MY GOD thank you! I could not for the life of me place her on Lost. I knew I knew her but not from where. I like her better on Lost. Much better. Tess is just a bad character.

The episode is from Season 2 I think and is called "End of the World" It's when Future Max pays a visit to present Liz. Oh yea.

Posted by: nuala on November 18, 2004 08:12 AM

and by "future max" we do mean "tom cruise from legend."

Posted by: didofoot on November 19, 2004 07:52 AM