Things have been busy lately. So busy that I have not updated this site since the end of November.
What has happened you may ask? Well work was stressful. The Ranch was closing, I was losing my job and someone who I thought was a close friend decided to start treating me like I was the enemy. Then I was working two jobs, one with said friend who wasn't very good at hiding her hostility and one where the hotel was just opening, no one was trained, there were no procedures in place, but hell if we weren't going to open as soon as the construction company released the building to us.
It has calmed down since then. I'm only working one job now. I don't have to deal with any hostile looks or comments anymore, however the breakup of that friendship is still something that is very hurtful to me. And work well, I can't get any of my own work done because I'm constantly fixing someone else's mistakes. Besides cleaning up messes there no direction here and everyone is constantly changing their mind and expecting me to be psychic about the changes.
Oh and did I mention that I work in a box. Well to be more precise it's the bellman's closet...oh excuse me the x-bellman's closet. Now it's my solitary box. Bad Nuala! Go back to your box! Why am I stuck in a bellman's closet? Because the planners didn't think to build a reservations office. And apparently everyone else was way more important than the people who generate the revenue when offices were being handed out.
Bitter, table for one...yep, that's me.
It hasn't been all bad. HONEST. I've learned so much that will help me in my career in 3 short months. I've met some great people who make me laugh and I've been indespensible to my manager and others which overall makes me feel like I'm needed and that I do a good job.
In general though things have been unsatisfiying.
.....And then a friend still at the Ranch told me I should reapply. And then they called me. And then they asked me to come back. As Guest Services Supervisor. And help them set up to re-open. And to get a bonus of four weeks after 90 days. And go back to the Ranch.
And I'm going. Despite the fact that I want this, that I'm happy about it, I'm still unsettled. Mainly because I feel guilty leaving. My manger here is a friend and my leaving will make a difficult situation even worse for her. It's not my fault, but it makes me feel bad about leaving. I also worry that my former friend will be re-hired as well and then my nice work place would become hell.
I think my real problem lately is that despite the fact that I am happy in Santa Barbara I don't feel like I'm making any progress. This move back to the Ranch is good as I will basically be helping to run the front desk and reservations and it will look fantastic on my resume but on the whole career wise I don't feel like I've moved forward anywhere. And then romantically nothing has happened since I broke up with my ex boyfriend. I almost feel like I'm stuck. But then again maybe this is just me being bored and it looks different from another person's point of view.
Or maybe it's not lack of progress that is making me feel blah, but all this freaking change. Yes I'm your friend, no I'm not your friend. I work here, no I work there and oops now I'm back to working here. And then a housemate change is on the horizon. Krista will be graduating in June and leaving Deanna and me for Colorado. I am very upset that she will be leaving. Jade will be moving in which is fantastic, but I hate that Krista has to leave for this to happen.
And then everyone I know is going to Europe this year. My mom, my sister, Michele, Kristen, Gene, Krista, Jade....and.....hmmm. Well that is still a lot. And me? No where. I'm too busy with work. And even if I do take a vacation it will be up to Canada to my cousin's wedding. Not that I don't want to go but it seems like all I ever do is use my limited vacation time to go up there. I feel like I haven't gone anywhere just because I want to in forever.
So this is where my head has been the last few months. It's probably why I've haven't posted in 3 months.
On the brighter side of things....Coachella is coming up.Posted by nuala at February 24, 2005 02:45 PM