February 24, 2005

Things have been busy lately. So busy that I have not updated this site since the end of November.

What has happened you may ask? Well work was stressful. The Ranch was closing, I was losing my job and someone who I thought was a close friend decided to start treating me like I was the enemy. Then I was working two jobs, one with said friend who wasn't very good at hiding her hostility and one where the hotel was just opening, no one was trained, there were no procedures in place, but hell if we weren't going to open as soon as the construction company released the building to us.

It has calmed down since then. I'm only working one job now. I don't have to deal with any hostile looks or comments anymore, however the breakup of that friendship is still something that is very hurtful to me. And work well, I can't get any of my own work done because I'm constantly fixing someone else's mistakes. Besides cleaning up messes there no direction here and everyone is constantly changing their mind and expecting me to be psychic about the changes.

Oh and did I mention that I work in a box. Well to be more precise it's the bellman's closet...oh excuse me the x-bellman's closet. Now it's my solitary box. Bad Nuala! Go back to your box! Why am I stuck in a bellman's closet? Because the planners didn't think to build a reservations office. And apparently everyone else was way more important than the people who generate the revenue when offices were being handed out.

Bitter, table for one...yep, that's me.

It hasn't been all bad. HONEST. I've learned so much that will help me in my career in 3 short months. I've met some great people who make me laugh and I've been indespensible to my manager and others which overall makes me feel like I'm needed and that I do a good job.

In general though things have been unsatisfiying.

.....And then a friend still at the Ranch told me I should reapply. And then they called me. And then they asked me to come back. As Guest Services Supervisor. And help them set up to re-open. And to get a bonus of four weeks after 90 days. And go back to the Ranch.

And I'm going. Despite the fact that I want this, that I'm happy about it, I'm still unsettled. Mainly because I feel guilty leaving. My manger here is a friend and my leaving will make a difficult situation even worse for her. It's not my fault, but it makes me feel bad about leaving. I also worry that my former friend will be re-hired as well and then my nice work place would become hell.

I think my real problem lately is that despite the fact that I am happy in Santa Barbara I don't feel like I'm making any progress. This move back to the Ranch is good as I will basically be helping to run the front desk and reservations and it will look fantastic on my resume but on the whole career wise I don't feel like I've moved forward anywhere. And then romantically nothing has happened since I broke up with my ex boyfriend. I almost feel like I'm stuck. But then again maybe this is just me being bored and it looks different from another person's point of view.

Or maybe it's not lack of progress that is making me feel blah, but all this freaking change. Yes I'm your friend, no I'm not your friend. I work here, no I work there and oops now I'm back to working here. And then a housemate change is on the horizon. Krista will be graduating in June and leaving Deanna and me for Colorado. I am very upset that she will be leaving. Jade will be moving in which is fantastic, but I hate that Krista has to leave for this to happen.

And then everyone I know is going to Europe this year. My mom, my sister, Michele, Kristen, Gene, Krista, Jade....and.....hmmm. Well that is still a lot. And me? No where. I'm too busy with work. And even if I do take a vacation it will be up to Canada to my cousin's wedding. Not that I don't want to go but it seems like all I ever do is use my limited vacation time to go up there. I feel like I haven't gone anywhere just because I want to in forever.

So this is where my head has been the last few months. It's probably why I've haven't posted in 3 months.

On the brighter side of things....Coachella is coming up.

Posted by nuala at February 24, 2005 02:45 PM

1. that is amazing news! congrats! i think you've moved forward and changed and gotten big deal promotions. i mean, look at me in comparison, i still live in the bay area and make like $9.50/hour. if you want to give me a job in your ranch, i would totally take it. well, no i wouldn't. probably. well, maybe in september. what else am i going to do, after all? I HAVE NO FUTURE PLANS.
2. they're giving you FOUR WEEKS OFF. save all your money until then and go somewhere super cool. dood, don't go to canada.
3. when do you start there again?

Posted by: michele on February 24, 2005 02:54 PM

Not four weeks off. Four weeks of free pay. Just random money because I'm cool and I came back.
I start on 3/8

Posted by: nuala on February 24, 2005 04:19 PM

oh. well, that's still pretty great! you can save all that money and go on a trip sometime later. don't you get vacation time from them too?

3/8 is so soon. well, that is exciting.

Posted by: michele on February 24, 2005 04:22 PM

this is wonderful. i'm so happy for you! it sounds to me like you're completely making career progress. i mean when you started you were just the front desk girl. today, you have a closet. tomorrow, the world!

i'm with michele. you should go somewhere fun. you deserve to.

Posted by: didofoot on February 24, 2005 04:26 PM

yeah! in the immortal words of southpark, "fuck canada!"

Posted by: michele on February 24, 2005 04:28 PM

I'll start accruing vacation time immediately, but when I'll be able to take it I don't know....

Yea we'll see about Cananda....Granny really wants me to come.

I think I should be able to get away in the fall....the hotel will be slower and starting up some renovations again....we'll see.

Thanks for being excited for me....it makes me more excited.

Posted by: nuala on February 24, 2005 04:32 PM

you have to come to the wedding in Canada!!! its only for the weekend and it won't be any fun without you...pleeeeaaasseeee!!!

I think you are making amazing career progress. This is a great and very rewarding position and I think it will help you tremendously. it is a step in the right direction. and more importantly, you love it there.

also, i doubt very much that the ranch will be hiring back a certain bitter, nasty, childish employee that you are worried about.

this is great news!

Posted by: ady on February 25, 2005 08:47 AM

Sounds like you live in quite the swirling poop storm. :) Managing alright otherwise?

Posted by: max on March 20, 2005 11:31 PM

I agree with Ady, you HAVE to go to Canada, Granny is not going to be around for much longer and if you have the travel bug, there is a ton of Canada that I don't think you have seen. Plus, maybe the groom is bringing some cute Scottish boys with him, the potential for fun is totally there, you just have to grab it!

Posted by: a cousin on April 1, 2005 02:21 PM