So yesterday I'm driving home and I'm planning which shows I'm going to watch and which I'm going to tape for the evening so I see everything. As you all know I really like TV so some nights this can get pretty elaborate. Anyways I'm thinking okay I'll watch the Amazing Race and tape it for Mom and tape Enterprise, but then went wait then I can't tape Dawson's Creek. And then I thought ughhh who cares.

When did my teen angst shows turn into something I didn't want to watch. Am I getting to be an old fuddy duddy? Have I outgrown them? Or are they just getting worse? I can't decide and I'm a little disturbed by it. Why I don't know. It's not like Dawson's Creek is a big loss. They're annoying as hell really, but I can't even enjoy screaming at their stupidity anymore. The idea that I might not like the next "90210" that comes along, and I LOVED 90210, until Brenda left, damn them, is for some reason a little scary.

My point here is that while I'm not old, I feel like I'm outgrowing teenage things and I don't like that. I want to be giggly over stupid things on tv and movies forever. Soon I won't get it! Heaven forbid! Soon I'll be one of the big girls, the ones who have careers and exciting lives. I don't have that! Am I ever going to get it? I still feel like I'm on a playground sometime watching the "big girls" with envy. I mean I used to watch the teenager shows thinking man I wish I was like them. Now I go done that stuff, maybe wish I could have done it that way or whatever.

Life is passing by. It's passing by! Soon I'll be shaking my head at someone else watching these teen movies and shows like my mother does at me. And then I'll be like my Granny who just misses it and goes, "What was that now?"

I'm doomed I tell you doomed.

On another freaking out note, I submitted my application to UCSB today. I put in my e-app online. And then sent all the hard copies to to the Education dept. However I'm a little nervous because I couldn't find the post office on Durant but I did find a Copy and Mail place like Mail boxes, Etc., but not. Anyways I bought postage there and he just threw the envelope on the back counter without putting the postage one first. Now I'm afraid that it's not going anywhere. That it's going to get lost on some back counter of his all dusty and moldy and then I'll be screwed. Horribly screwed. I wanted to put it in the post office cause then at least I would know that it went directly into the mail system. I would put it there. It would be official. I of course found the post office on my way back and am now obsessing abotu my package sitting in that store forever.

Make my insanity stop!