December 03, 2002
So what do we think?
Stupid Statements. I hate them. Michele thinks it's fine, good even, while Sumit thinks I'm focusing too much on my parents and not enough on me. What do we think? And just for reference, my promt was the following:
Please provide a statement about your personal history and your intellectual development. This statement can include a discussion of educational and cultural
opportunities (or lack of them), family background, special interests and abilities, and future goals. Please note that this statement should not duplicate the Statement of Purpose.
And please be brutal, it's okay. I promise I won't cry.
Posted by nuala at December 03, 2002 04:49 PM
I think it's vg. everything you say about your parents is in support of a point you're making about yourself, so that's fine I think. maybe you can relate the whole wanting to be a teacher thing to a desire to help other kids realize their goals? though I have no idea how.
well i distinctly remember writing a sentence which said just that to put in the final paragraph for her. did she take it out? or maybe it wasn't clear enough...
oh you're right i only implied it. so if you take this sentence, "This is why I am so interested in obtaining my masters degree in Education" and add, "so that i can help others realize their goals" or some bullshit about nurturing thier young minds. or something...
Okay I'll change that. But are we sure it's okay? I'm getting paranoid here. I mean would you want to give me money after having read this? Assuming you let me in already.
i wouldn't give you money even before reading that. but that is because i am poorer than you.
it's a totally fine essay. it's great. it speaks well. it outlines your personal achievements while paying respect to your upbringing clash of cultures. it's perfect.