July 15, 2003

Sumit and I broke up yesterday. I thought about not writing this on my website, but you know this is an outlet for me and since we broke up I don't feel the need to comply to Sumit's request to not talk about our relationship on my log.

So here I am. Single all of a sudden. And feeling crappy. The worst part was the actual fight that ended it with him saying ,"Fine" and hanging up. Like I didn't matter. Like the relationship didn't matter. Like he didn't care. And he probably doesn't. I mean I've seen him about once a week since I moved down here and talked to him less than I did when I was living in Benicia. It's just really sad. And the worst part is knowing that because I said don't call, he won't. Even if he wanted to he won't because I said not to, because he doesn't fight for anything. He just lets it happen and keeps whatever pain there is inside.

Last night I watched Sex and the City and Miranda had the epiphany of, "He's just not interested." So that's what I'm going with. He's just not interested and so why the hell should I be.

Krista, my housemate was nice enough to go with me to Bouchon's, which is a resturant in Santa Barbara that was having free drinks and hors d'oeurves for Bastille Day. We got a little tipsy and I saw Amy and Bharti from The Cheshire Cat where I used to work which was great. So I had a nice night. So I'm going to be okay, but I'm sure I'll be writing about being upset again so bear with me, but it's nice to put my thoughts out there. It's like dumping them out of my head so I don't have to think about them anymore. So thanks for taking them in to your head.

I go do laundry now. Oh I live an exciting life.

Posted by nuala at July 15, 2003 12:55 PM

I love you. I'm glad you have girls taking care of you.

Posted by: didofoot on July 15, 2003 01:09 PM

poo on sumit. and hey, if you ever need to run away for a couple of days, my house is just a 2 hour drive. (yummy thai food, excellent shopping, big movie theatres, fun bars, great spas... everything a girl could need.)

Posted by: jade on July 15, 2003 03:01 PM

Just consider your blog to be a Pensieve. I am sorry you're sad. It was lovely to see you last week all the same, even with that dumb ol' Sumit detracting from the experience. Feel better and happy Bastile Day.

Posted by: sean on July 15, 2003 05:13 PM

I love you. I'm so so sorry that you're sad. Again, I love you.

Posted by: gene on July 15, 2003 07:44 PM

Thanks everybody.....Sean you know when I wrote that line I was TOTALLY thinking of the pensive in Harry Potter...how much of a dork am I?

It was great to see you guys too. How goes the trip?

Posted by: nuala on July 15, 2003 11:39 PM

i feel like shit for not being up on this sooner. damn oregon internet is my excuse. sweetheart, all i can do is add my love to everyone else's. but maybe when i get home i can come down and visit and we can do all our favorite things for e(r)asing doldrums.

Posted by: michele on July 16, 2003 09:17 AM

things like filling sumit's shoes with cement? that is my favorite thing. walk the plank! we are the pirates of the breakup seas! ARRR!

Posted by: didofoot on July 16, 2003 10:36 AM

Arrr....Get me Johnny Depp and I'll be fine.

Posted by: nuala on July 16, 2003 03:22 PM

Harry Potter is cool, and I thought of that pensive too as I was reading the comments

Posted by: Ashley on July 20, 2003 12:39 AM