So I've been out of sorts lately with the cat being sick. It has stressed me out and left me feeling really sad because him being sick might be a sign of worse things to come. The thought of not having my little cat around is a little traumatizing to me.

And now this. Yesterday my mom emails me to let me know that my sister and I had received to packages from France from a Lawyer. Now I immediately think it has something to do with my grandmother. Is she dead? No, I calmly think, they would have at least CALLED about that incident. So then it must be related to her will as why else would a french lawyer be contacting me.

And boy was I right. Since my dad died my sister and I got his portion of what was given to him when my grandfather died, namely a portion of my grandparents house which of course is my grandmother's until she dies. Apparently my grandmother wants to give the house soley to my aunt and wants to basically buy us out and she wants to do it now.

The fact is I hadn't even thought of getting anything from them ever. It never even entered my head that I was going to get something that was supposed to go to my dad. And now this out of the blue. I mean we got no phone call, no letter, just paperwork from the lawyer. WHO DOES THAT? We don't even know if our grandmother is sick and that's why she's having this done. We don't know anything because since my dad died they've basically refused to talk to us.

It makes me so angry. I almost want to say I don't want anything. They can keep my portion of the house and their money. I mean it's like their trying to cut us out of their lives for good. Like if they buy us out, they REALLY don't have to deal with us anymore. It also makes me extremely sad since my fondest memories from when I was younger are with them, in that house. But apparently I'm still to blame for my father's death since this is the first contact they've made for three years and it's to get me out of their financial lives.

I mean WHO DOES THIS? Who does this to their grandchildren? To the last contact they have to their son? I mean we don't even know if she's doing this because she's sick. That would be nice to know. I mean despite the fact that I feel like my grandmother wants nothing to do with me, I still care. I still want to know.

So now on top of being worried sick about the cat, I've been handed some MORE emotional baggage from a family who can't seem to communicate or ever forgive anybody for anything.

So anyways I'm feeling crappy today and even buying shoes has not helped. sigh.

Dear Daphne,

Today at work I realized it was your birthday. I thought turning a quarter of a century deserved the internet equivalent of a cosmic shout out. I've had the honor of having you as my best friend in my childhood as well as always having you by my side for any camping experience. Hiking in the sierras, swimming in the ice cold lakes and singing around the campfires as well as poking at the fires would never be the same without you. A girl couldn't have asked for a better friend.

I hope that you have a great birthday.

Love,
Nuala

I took Ribbon to the vet on Monday. Just for a check up nothing big. Basically, his teeth are bad. They need to be cleaned, they're probably hurting him. The vet wanted to take a blood test first to make sure that we can knock him out to do it. They did that Tuesday. They called me today to tell me that he's fine. Really healthy for a 15 year old cat, just a little high on the white cell count but that's probably because of the bad teeth, so I made an appointment today to have his teeth cleaned. And then not an half hour after all that information was imparted to me the cat threw up. No big deal, he's quite a fur ball and throws up hairballs every now and again.

Then he wouldn't sit with me. Then after sleeping all day and since I got home, he didn't want to eat. My cat not wanting to eat is not a good sign. Then he tried to go to the bathroom and couldn't and then immediately threw up again. And so three days after I took him to the vet I took him to emergency care where they took an xray and said nothing seems to be wrong. And now he's still there, having MORE bloodwork done just to double check and costing me a fortune.

And then there's mom, meaning well telling me I should think about the fact that he's 15 years old and near his time. But how can I possibly think of putting him to sleep when nothing is apparently wrong?!

So I'm a bit of a basket case right now. I mean maybe I should have just left him in Benicia, maybe all this upheaval, with the move, living with a dog, and a new kitten is just to much for my old, pretty solitary cat.....

All I know is that he's been to the vet three times in the past week and I feel like he isn't himself. He's lathargic, not eating as much, and not very aware of what's going on around him.

I hate it when I can't do anything. I hate not knowing what's wrong and I hate not having my cat back to normal. And I also hate having the vets look at me like I'm a bad owner.

I'm going to go and watch Pride and Prejudice and try and feel better. The cat is going to be ok, the cat is going to be ok. I'll just keep telling myself that.

Deanna, my house mate, came in last night and said, "You're going to hate me." I was confused and asked why. Her boyfriend Eric's grandmother had been feeding a stray cat that had kittens and they were taking them to the pound. Deanne being so sweet couldn't let them all go if she could at least take one, so she did and so now we have a kitten.

A small ball of gray fluff, no more than a month old. No name as of yet, but none the less adorable and irresistible, except perhaps to Ribbon who upon seeing the kitten has attempted to ignore, avoid and just plain hiss at, although I am not surprised. I have probably traumitized him again in a year when I moved him five hours from his home, drugged and then made him get to know a dog. Now insult upon insult there is another cat in the house. Personally I think he's a little ticked off at me.

Oh well. The kitten is holed up in Deanna's room until it is no longer terrified, so hopefully the interaction will be at a minimum for a while.

In other news I meet Sir Derek Jacobi who most of you probably remember as playing Hamlet, in the video we watched in Mr. Hagar's class OR he played Hamlet's Uncle in the Kenneth Branagh version of Hamlet OR he played Emperor Claudius in I, Claudius OR he played the senator who was killed in Gladiator. The man, classically trained has the same wonderfully cultured voice in person as he does on the screen. It's not put on, it's just how he talks. It's fantastic. All I wanted to say the entire time I was making change for him was, "My Mom loves you in I, Claudius." But I didn't. I restrained. It was hard, but I managed. Mom was excited by this news and said, "I should have told him." Despite this she still feels like she's meet him now too.

Anyways that is my excitement for the week. I go off now to bed. Deanna has promised to try and take digital photos of the kitty so hopefully a name and picture of the lovable fluff ball will be forthcoming. We are now curious as to what the dog will do when she comes back with Krista and meets the kitty.....I'm sure hilarity will ensue. I'll keep you posted.

Kim, Kristen and Michele left my house about an hour and a half ago. It is strangely empty in the house without them. There is now a lack of bodies, clothes, shoes and books littering the house. It makes me sad.

The girls came for two days and I have spent more time at the beach in those two days than I have in the past 5 years. Not that even my toe touched the water. Oh no. I slept and read but still it was on a towel with my feet in sand. Very beachy. We also went to eat...A LOT. We went to Chef Karim's, The Palace Grill and Cajun Kitchen. All were highly enjoyable, especially the company.

Anyways thanks for coming girls, and bearing gifts and buying me dinner and driving 10 hours just to see little old me. It was all great and made for a wonderful belated bday. Sorry I couldn't spend more time with you what with work, and for putting up with my tendancy to dose off. I was tired, but I think you were all too happy with the beach, the surf and the sun burning to care. It's also nice to know that I am not the only twenty something that would much rather go out to dinner, come home read, watch something silly on tv and then sleep. You make me feel normal.

I hope the drive went well and you didn't hit too much labor day traffic. Michele, don't forget to make me a tatto (or should I say have your brother) appointment. That or Christmas should be my next trip home. It would be nice to go home for a change.

Anyways I love you guys, thanks for coming and giving me an excuse to get out of the house.

Yea for bdays!