I'm not feeling too insightful today, but thought that I should write something. The truth is I just feel drained. With all the drama going on at work all I want to do is lay down and sleep forever and never move again. It's amazing how one crappy person can ruin your whole outlook, and yes sumit, I say to myself no no, giving them too much power must let it roll off my back like water off a duck, but for some reason even with a nickname like ducky all this crap still sticks to me and it takes me a while to shake it. Hopefully a relaxing weekend away from the office and a good old time seeing Mama Mia in San Francisco will help. Sorry Kristen and Michele I don't think I'll be going to Livermore as I'm too drained to even make the attempt to have fun. Monday I plan to have some more uplifting interesting things to say.

Well today has been a shitty shitty day. Worked sucked. I'm not going to go into it as it would be bad if someone came across this and said I was spreading rumors. It's enough to say my moral is down and I felt like quitting. I was this close. (imagine my thumb and forefinger a millimeter apart) I kept imagining my resignation, my reasons, bitching some particular people out and foiling any of their attempts to argue with me and their terrified face as they cannot defend themselves against my accusations, followed by my return to SB with a great job until I could go back to grad school. Meanwhile back at my old job they are lost without me as I deleted all my computer files and contacts so that they cannot do anything without me and they curse the day I left them for no one so competent will every again apply to Berkeley, because only morons work there. (Not everyone mind you, there are some people I really like, but 75% complete morons) Anyways it was a nice fantasy, but not likely to happen, as my job is easy and really they could handle it without me. They'd surely bitch and not do it they way I would which would cause even more delays than are already possible at Berkeley but life would go on just the same. Bastards.

So I ended up going camping after all even after that whole we're not going and unpacking. It was fun but I wish we could have gone earlier so that I could have played in the river some more. I like cold water in nature. As it was I got to splash around for a bit and then went home. At least Sumit and I saw Max, who was glad we came and so was I.

So I'm trying to organize my pictures at home, but as I am a non picture taker, why I don't know, I've just got lots of random moments. I think I mainly do not take pictures because I always think that they look bad. That would be my main reason for taking a photography class, but at this rate it looks like I won't manage it till the fall. Oh well good pictures will have to wait till then. Either way I'm trying to make up a scrapbook for all my random pictures and memorabilia at home. But it's hard as I don't have enough of any one to do a scrapbook on it's own. So if anyone wanting to get rid of extra pictures, please feel free to unload them on me.

At this point I am contemplating a scrapbook that includes some of the main moments from the last year of High School, mainly graduation and senior ball, etc., some girl scout stuff with camping pictures and all my badges. If I can find my sash I'm going to cut it up and include it somehow. And then I think my London trip.

I'm also going to start one for this year and college. Sumit's already been recruited to look through his pictures for me. Thank god one of us has a hand glued to a camera. I also finally managed to get around to developing the Coachella pictures I took. I'll be sure to give the doubles to anyone who wants them. Yesterday as I went through random old pictures I have at home, and man are there some doozies I came across a whole bunch of really old ones (like great grandparents etc.) from the French family. Anyways so I'll probably make another one with just the old Frenchie pictures, cause they shouldn't sit in a drawer.

Anyways as you can tell I'm on a nostalgic trip. I'm just sick of being so unorganized and I'm hoping that at least organizing some of my pictures will be a fun project that will make me feel a little more organized. Also I've kinda tried to avoid thinking too much about the past four years or so as they were painful, not all of it, but in the background there was always something there. I guess I'm hoping rummaging through photos and putting them in some kind of cohesive order will be therapeutic. But whatevs yo, at least I'll have a nice little art project in the end. And with that I return to work.

Can I just mention right now, so fucking typical! I run around like an idiot yesterday getting ready to go to Max's campout thing with sumit. I make muffins, I prepare stuff to eat, I get the cooler, I buy ice, I air out the tent, I borrow a tent, I pack and I get excited. This morning, I wash my hair, I shave, I dry my hair, I pack up all the essentials, AND WHAT HAPPENS??!! Sumit's friends flake on him, he starts to go, well I dunno I don't feel well...whan whan whan, it's too far away and now we're not going. So now I have to go home unpack, melt the ice, give kristen's tent back, have no taco chicken, eat way too many muffins and sit with the no camping. And go to a rave Sat night when I would much rather be camping till sunday but no sumit can't flake on ben even though that's all that they ever do to him. fucking sucks.

This week has gone by fast for me. Tuesday I had a PowerPoint class and learned how to animate things....hmmm I wonder if it could be put to use on the web, probably but that would involve too much thought me thinks. Well then after the PowerPoint class there was a whole 2 hours of no working to attend staff "depreciation" (as Lorie would call it). Which wasn't too great, you think the University could go to better lengths to appreciate their staff, but whoa two hours to hang out was pretty nifty. Wednesday I got to waste a whole three hours for yet another staff appreciation thing for our floor, where they fed us and continued to embarrass me by congratulating me on passing my probation. Woo-hoo...I'm competent! Yea! Anyways it was fun, it was loud and it was getting paid to eat.

Also on Wed, my little soomie came to see me. I also met his cousin who lives not far from campus, a little scary, but she was very nice and we didn't stay long. We think she has a white boyfriend, who was also very nice and talked to me while Sumit messed with the computer. He's a teacher at a local high school (english) and was talking to me about going to grad school and stuff. Anyways the fact that he is white while it is not a big deal, makes me feel better, why I don't know. Maybe cause if they're all the kids in Sumit's family are going against their culture, eventually the parents will cry "Uncle" and let them do whatever they want without making them feel guilty. Parents in general just suck sometimes.

ANYWAYS, but now so I'm getting ready to go camping for a whole day! And not real camping, camping where you can take everything known to man with you, but anyways I got all nostalgic and found my old girl scout camping list as well as remembered car camping foods such as taco chicken. (Thank you kristen for that remembered treasure) I even made it last night to bring with me. However I still feel it wasn't cheese-its but some form of chips, but whatever too late now. I also made blueberry muffins for breakfast in an attempt to recapture the taste of Eydie's muffins on those long ago girl scout campouts. (I know she made them out of a box and so did I but it's still different)

So now I'm at work wishing it was after work so that I could get ready to go camping. Kristen if you dragged me up to Carr lake right now, I'd be a happy girl because this campout will not nearly be as fun without the rest of the girl scouts. Anyways I'll bore you all to death with the details next week.

Oh and might I just mention for your amusement that as I write I am listening to a Disney radio station that plays, oh joys of joys, songs from Disney movies. (right now it's Under the Sea. Yea!)

I'm so sick of hearing about how Americans think soccer/football is not a spectator's sport or how it's just plain boring. Frankly I think that's all a load of bull. I'll admit that they have some valid reasons as to why they can't get into to it, but just saying that it's plain boring is not one of them. Here are my views as to why Americans are such pricks about soccer/football:

1. It's seen as a kid's game, and not just that it's seen as a girls game. So instead of seeing it as a skilled game with professional athletes it's seen as something that kids play at that doesn't really ever go anywhere.
2. Americans do not grow up watching football games. They cheer on their kids at soccer games but they do not sit at a professional game or watch it on tv and see the sport done right by professional athletes who really excel at the game.
3. So because they see it as a kid's game and can't possibly recognize the skill it takes to play, they can't get excited about the players because they view them as not playing a real sport and really half the fun of rooting any team on is having a love/hate relationship with the players.
4. Americans can't watch anything that they aren't the best at. If they didn't invent it or dominate it, it's stupid and not worth watching. Because the rest of the world is obessessed with it and excel at it, Americans decline to care in order to put themselves above the chaos of the whole event.
5. Americans can't produce the same amount of loyalty that the tons of fans of football around the world have naturally. Football fans will go anywhere, do anything for their team and they never abandon a team when they're down. They'll get mad, abusive and frustrated but they will never leave. Americans on the other hand are fickle, and while loyalty to one team was seen in the past, these days it is a rare occurrence.

So that's my rant on football and the world cup going on today. You can say whatever you want but it is really fun once you get into it. And you would think the US would get as it is a game of world domination without the bullets and missles, and the winners get to brag for four years nonstop and act like jerks. (oh wait! Americans already do that, maybe that's why they don't care. They don't need a reason to brag and act like jerks.)

Well so this weekend was one of highs and lows, you can read about the lows on the ribbon page but as for the highs....

Midsummer's Night Dream was good. I had never seen the play all the way through as I could not get through the movie with Kevin Kline, Michelle Phiffer and such and had never seen it live or read it so I was pleasantly surprised at the whole experience. Mom and I bought too much food and a cooler and stuffed ourselves with it and some alcohol before the play, but man was it cold! If you're going sometime soon bring a beanie and a scarf as that was all I was wishing for the whole night...stupid me. Oh but as for the cutie forecast in play watching I would say that there was one cutie, but sorry Kristen he was the shortest one there. I couldn't tell if he was cute on his own or if it was the part coupled with the big hat he wore that could go over his half his face. But either way he was entertaining to look at and had some amusing parts to giggle at.

Saturday night with the girls and poker was amusing. Kim I thank you for the great food again and demand that potato salad recipe as it was fantastic. (nuts to you michele and your egg filled potato salad...hee hee). Too bad I was too tired to really enjoy Psycho Beach Party but I'm sure Michele watch it again one of these days when I'm around. What I did see was pretty damn amusing, and the hokey acting was just the tip of the iceberg.

And Sunday was the eventful seeing of one Jason Fong, not Jason Gong, who I had not seen since the end of high school or maybe a summer or two later. Anyways it was good to see you Jason and I hope it's not another 4 years till I see you again. There may have been another happening of interest that occurred this weekend but at the moment it's only rumblings and grumblings, we'll see what surfaces in the next couple of days....BACK TO WORK I GO.

So I called Sumit last night before I went to bed and he's yet again partying it up with his friends in SB for their last pregraduation Thursday night out. And that's ok, I mean he should be having fun, but can I say how unfair it is that I never got a chance to do this crap because I was hanging out with people younger than me and I'm too much of a wuss to go out on my own. So instead of staying down in SB and having the opportunity to go out, I got stuck in Benicia spending my nights in front of the tv watching my taped episodes of Days of Our Lives. How pathetic am I? Pretty damn pathetic. Although watching Days did lead me to know the answer to the Trivial Pursuit question of what soap opera takes place in Salem? And all of this emphasizes my point that where there is fun there is no Nuala because it only seems to happen when I am not around. It's like Superman and Clark Kent who can never be in the same place at the same time! Prime example: My birthdays which are never ANY fun. (whine, whine, moan, moan, I know, I know, but it is the whole point of the rants page)

Okay wait in the last half hour I've been given something else to bitch about. They finally installed the flat screen tv in the lounge at work and right now they are playing Interview with a Vampire and they haven't even installed the cable yet! How unfair is it that me! the queen of tv! will not be able to use it but the students who probably won't even bother will?! Life continues to be very unfair. Why oh why didn't I go into engineering!