Apparently I'm Boy Crazy

So I had through work the opportunity to have a pet psychic come and read Ribbon for cheap and having had this little bundle of joy for over 15 years I wanted to see if someone could tell me what he's really thinking. I know, I know it's silly and stupid, but I couldn't resist the idea of it. I don't really believe in most of that stuff, but I really just wanted to give it a whirl. Honestly I think she was making things up and not very well, but all the same I now still feel like a horrible pet owner. So for your outrage and entertainment here's what "Ribbon" said,

He has some aches and pains every now and again, but not too much
He knows he's getting old and he doesn't like it. He's bored and wants someone who can be with him all day.
He doesn't like Mandi or the Kitten, although the Kitten perhaps in a few years he would find interesting but he doesn't want to wait that long.
I'm keeping him hostage from our old house and he doesn't know why he can't go back there.
Apparently he loves me but I'm boy crazy and I only pay attention to him when I feel like it.
He wants a companion, but not the dog or the cat currently in the house
I'm always gone.
Apparently he's glad I'm no longer with the boy I was with.
He thinks that I don't let the right kind of men in my life and if I just let go of the bad ones, good one would come into my life.
He doesn't like the neighborhood we live in.
He's bored.
His gums ache a little.

Can I mention that she ASKED me if he was a boy or a girl and how old he was and later remarked how YOUNG he looked. It was only after I asked about his gums that there was mention of them hurting a little. No mention was made of him asking where my mother was, or my sister or my father or sophie. He didn't make mention of the fact that my mother once slammed a garage door on his head (you think he would still be angry about that one). Nor did he say that he would like to eat his treats full time and throw out the crappy food I've been feeding him. Nothing personal or insightful where I could have gone hey that is my cat.

No just whine whine whine. When she noticed that I wasn't too responsive to all his complaining she said, "he's a drama queen isn't he" I made a grunting sound. And then later she said, "He's just playing on your emotions, and trying to get more out of you." Apparently my cat is a fine manipulator and she has nothing to do with it.

Ughhh! I was so angry after the whole thing. Whatever animal she thinks she was tapping into that was not MY cat. It was amazing how vague she was. Ribbon wanted to go back to the house with the porch....(how many houses do you know have porches...quite a few I'd say....) And she couldn't tell me anything unless I asked a question, and I was do disturbed by what she was saying he was saying I couldn't think of all the questions I had. I should have asked how he hurt his eye or if he could see out of it.

Can I also mention that Ribbon was so agitated the whole time she was there. I haven't seen him so agitated in a long time. And he was pissed at me for the rest of the day. He would barely look at me let alone come in the house and sit with me. And if he thinks I'm gone a lot now he's going to hate me when I'm gone for 10 days.

And if he hates the dog so much, please explain THIS (due to tecnical difficulties THIS picute will appear at a later time....) picture, which Krista took when she caught them sleeping together.

I know you all now think I'm a crazy pet person who's obsessed. I'm not. I was just curious and I don't really believe anything she said, but at the same time when someone is there telling you this stuff it's hard not to feel like you've tortured your animal.

The only freaky part was when she said, "Your Dad died." No question pure statement. That was weird. As I had not mentioned him. But maybe because I had only been mentioning my mom and sister she figured he was dead. It was bizarre. That part did creep me out.

But as my sister said, who I frantically called freaked out after the session, "How generic." And I tend to agree. And now I will quit rattling off about my weird pet psychic encounter and leave you with pictures of the kitten, which I promised oh so long ago. - And unfortunately again because of the technical difficulties you're going to have to wait some more. Too bad, so sad.